The International Association of Awkward Friends (IAAF)

Friendship between a man and a woman is just as awkward as that between Seinfeld and Elaine. I talked to myself recalling the episode that I watched in "Seinfeld". As brilliant and witty as he can be, Seinfeld was trying to elaborate his statements just to clarify what is implied in the situation when he was facing his best, but somehow radiating very subtle "Just-a-kind-of, just-a-little-bit-more-than-just-friends" vibes on him, friend Elaine.

Obviously they cared so much about each other, being well aware of their gender difference, to the extent that they came to realize that each of them may have wanted each other... as such, which made the particular episode of thrilling, funny and even quite profound. Love can be said of having a few different subdivision; Agape, Filia and Eros, namely unconditional pure love of care to others, love of brotherhood, and sensual love between man and woman. When someone says that the person loves you, the primary implication, I believe, is that of deep care to other people.

However, there lies confusion here. When a man and a woman get to know each other and get so close, their affection between them can be contaminated by other things. You might blame your friend of opposite sex by saying that he or she confused you. Nevertheless, it could be actually your internal confusion about your love and care to your friend taking your friend's gender into consideration, pondering how nice he or she has been to you and to be with you no matter how your actual partner such as boyfriend or girlfriend treated you or no matter how your life treated you with regards to your "relationship" matter.

Then the whole perspective on your friend might change and you might think your friend can be another man or woman that you could have been attracted to as such. Doubt, Denial, Consideration, Realization and then Confirmation ... I made this process up just like the process of acceptance of your forthcoming death, however, I would imagine things would go this way just like that judging from the Seinfeld show. In the case of the show, however, they put additional process at the end, Action. After discussion over their friendship and affection, they decided to do, well, as you can tell, an actual intercourse upon consensus. I would guess this is actually consensus gentium, general agreement from the viewers as well since Seinfeld and Elaine in the show look just good together.

Aside from the show, in the process of actual friendship, you may experience jealousy, even desire to possess your friend exclusively, or slight urge of the denial of existence of your friend's significant other or even the friendship itself !!!, when your friend got a partner besides you. There is tension going on here that primarily begins from your own mind. I would say you don't have to admit it if you do not want to since it is the process of pain and feeling of defeat and disgrace that, again, I'd imagine, everyone would feel upon the "accident". Even the word "friend" can be harsh when tossed on you by referring to your frienship as "Just Friends". It conveys the feeling of detach and cutting the lifeline between two locations.

Then both of you, "friends", may not want to talk about your frienship any longer. Or it could be just only you who do not want to see or hear from your friend. Tragedy is when your friend got a partner but you don't. But the point of discussion here is not that case; when both of you notice something different from a regular, normal friendship and start being conscious of your friend as a person of opposite sex, I'm sure there would be the emergence of this nowhere-to-go awkwardness.

Thus the establishement of the International Association of Awkward Friends (IAAF). It is for everyone that has once had, or currently has a friend that goes through awkward situations, feelings or actual friendship with your friend of opposite sex. The IAAF does not endorse gay/lesbian orientation yet, however, does encourage any that experienced friendship of heterosexual of a man and a woman to join and support the activity. You might think it would be a lot easier if things went just like Seinfeld and Elaine; they kept talking about their friendship on and on merely to avoid the awkwardness after the intercourse ! So their awkwardness would not be of your reference if you would like to lead a normal ethical life. The IAAF is still on search of the solutions to resolve this awkwardness; if the conclusion is just to live with it, then so be it since there is nothing we can do. However, I am quite sure there must be this awkward situations and the way people go about them.

If we could care and love everyone in the globe just like the way you care and love someone that you fell in love for the first time in your life, this world would be a lot better, a lot easier to live. Our problem is not to come up with this idea, but how we can practice this simple thing.